My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
