Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
