Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
