Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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