is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
