grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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