i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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