i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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