Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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