erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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