Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
