OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
