Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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