try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
