his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
