Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
