Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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