laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
COCAINE IS GR8
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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