I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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