I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
