this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize