HIV tests are more positive than that guy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
