I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
