Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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