At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
