You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Green mimosas i think yes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
