do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
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The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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