she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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