Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
