I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
