I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
