i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
love makes seman taste better
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize