Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
