Please, let me fuck your mom
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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