i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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