3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
operation have a gay friend backfired
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
