her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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