Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
