Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
