Sponge bath it is.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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