Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
