I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize