Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
And then he peed in my hair
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