OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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