Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
PANTIES FOUND
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