Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
