Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
