bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
