Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
