I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
