The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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