how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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