Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize