so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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