The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
