I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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