I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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