went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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