addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
