Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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