All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
