hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
